Last week my webcomic, Lucky Dawg, was targeted by the website “The Bad Webcomics Wiki”. After a minute of looking at the site, I instantly knew why I was suddenly targeted. I had just begun advertising on the webcomic Exiern. The “reviewer” apparently has hate for this comic because it’s sexual and they have a pay window, so (God forbid!) the creator can make some money. Seeing that I threw a Project Wonderful ad up there, my comic must be “bad” as well. Up on Bad Webcomics Wiki Lucky Dawg goes.
“Alan Moore surely didn't thought back in 1986 that his groundbreaking deconstruction of the superhero genre Watchmen would set off an avalanche of third and fourth tier copycats rolling over the comic market, burying every classical aspect of the superhero underneath them.
Where classical superheroes were individuals transcending the abilities of the common people, yet always concerned about their sorrows and needs as well as imbued with an indomitable sense of justice, the typical Dark Age
Superheroesprotagonists were little more than mindless, musclebound bullies lacking any morals whatsoever who answers to every problem was smashing it to bloody chunks at best and homicidal loons who were downright villains, but could still find some worse to beat up.”
Wow! Mind you, that was only two sentences. If you made the mistake of reading that out loud, I’ll give you a moment to catch your breath from the lack of periods.
“Now that the Dark Age Of Comics has ended (or so we're told by the Big Two), you could think comickers had learned rom the mistakes of the past.”
“Cue Adam J. Monetta.”
Yup. That’s my name. My REAL name. I’m not some ominous poster that won’t put his name on his work, even though it tells you exactly how to do it right on top of the page.
“He's… err… some guy. Who wants to make comics really, really badly.”
“Want”? You ding-dong, I am MAKING comics. It’s why you took the time to write this.
“His other crap comic didn't made the cut at Zuda,...”
BZZZT! Wrong again. It did make the cut. That’s why it was on the site in the competition. Zuda chose me. Blood Hunter won the popularity poll.
“...so he went basically "I'm gonna show my Magna Opi to the whole Internet, so it can realize my Epicness and I get published professionally! Natch!"
First of all, it’s Magna Opera. Come on, kid! The internet is right in front of your face. Take a minute and Google it.
“Way to got, Mister. They chances that your drivel will…”
Hold on. I need a minute to reboot and process this. The gibberish levels are through the roof. Listen, kid, can I offer some advice? Read what you write out loud. It will improve your output greatly. Okay, let’s try this again:
“Way to got, Mister. They chances that your drivel will see a print release not financed out of your own pocket but by some big publisher tend to nil, but I'm going ahead of myself.”
Two words. Robert Kirkman.