Phunkin' Photoshop - The Human Lots-a-Lots-a-Leggggggs

Every now and then (& going by this blog, it's more "then" than "now"), I have an idea and fiddle around with Photoshop.

You've heard of The Human Centipede and either seen it, want to see it or make believe that you never heard of it, ever. Now own the toy, The Human Lots-a-Lots-a-Leggggggs.




(Note to the kids: Since you never grew up in the 80s, and I don't think VH-1 has covered the stupid stuffed caterpillar, you won't know what it is. Used the Stretch Armstrong head because he looks like a kind of douche that should be connected ass to mouth.)

2009 was pretty good, the past decade.. ehh...

This past 2009 was pretty good for me. Got an upgrade at work, The Fighting Stranger and Lucky Dawg have been moving smoothly and I actually got through the year without having to make an emergency credit killing huge payment to anyone. Did get hit by that bus though, but that just pissed me off more than it did hurt.

While ’09 was decent enough, the Double-Oh Decade as a whole was kinda “meh”. Worst decade I’ve experience so far. Too young to remember the latter half of the 70s, have some fond childhood memories of the 80s and the 90s were a blast.

Three factors really lead the 00s to be miserable. Bush, 9/11 and Janet Jackson. Bush and the WTC disaster went hand in hand as America has been terrified since 2001. Obviously for a good reason since we still have losers trying to blow their balls off to take down airplanes. Bush used that fear to buy him a second term, which he used to destroy the economy.

Janet Jackson and her stupid nipple sent a wave of censorship throughout entertainment. That edge that was developed during the 90s had to be dulled so it was safe for the kids. Regular radio died because of this. It’s still there, but unless you are under 25 and enjoy listening to the same pop song 25 times a day, it’s really gone downhill. Even my beloved pro wrestling has been made so child friendly that they stop the match if a wrestler accidentally cuts himself.

The past decade was all bad though. The best thing that happened during the past ten years has been technology soaring. Ten years ago, I didn’t think I’d need a cell phone, now I have an iPhone. Big giant bulky TVs and monitors are a thing of the past. Ways to connect with people are evolving and changing every year. And on a creative level, the past decade couldn’t be better.

Webcomics have saved my comic book dream. As a nobody writer with awful artistic skills, I would have no chance in comics ten years ago. I could write a million pitches and the only thing I would accomplish is killing the trees for the paper wasted on those pitches. Ultimately, no matter how good or bad they were, no one would have read them. With the webcomic boom, it is now aware that you can put up pages weekly (heh, hopefully) and people will read them. That is all a true creator can ask for. To be read and/or seen and most importantly, enjoyed. Personally, it’s not about money right now. That can come in time, if ever.

The rise of MMA really helped that violent void that wrestling is currently doing away with. Plus, it’s a legit sport.

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to 2010 and beyond. Lucky & Stranger are quickly nearing the point where I feel it’s time to go to print. I’m going to finally get a website going for them. Not that I’d leave Drunk Duck, but it’s good to have my own brand as well. I also want to do some personal changes to/for myself, but who doesn’t promise themselves that.

So Happy New Year. Hope 2010 is good for you, and if it isn’t, there’s always next year.

A panel preview of the new Zuda project

Yeah, just a panel. I'm cheap that way.

Preview of the main character of my new Zuda pitch

Without giving too much detail right now, I'll just say he's the greatest fighter of his time.

And unlike my last Zuda entry, this one will indeed have plenty of action.

Newer Nightmare

Both like to wear hats.

Both wear one glove.

Both have skin conditions.

Both love children, in their own special ways.

Just saying that if your kids dream of Michael Jackson, maybe you should introduce them to coffee.

Where's the Earth Shattering Ka-Boom?

Ah, July 4th.

Time for BBQs, beer drinking and playing with explosives.

Ugh, July 5th.

Back to work. Even worse, we have to clean up after everyone else's good time. And it never fails. They ask you if you want to work the 4th and you say 'hell yeah', because it's holiday overtime pay. And there really isn't too much to do, since during working hours, the public is still preparing to party. But if you take that 4th, expect to work the 5th. On the 5th is when all that party prep has turned into an aftermath. At every park you will find all the blown off fireworks.

Oh yeah, I work for Parks & Recreation. Like the NBC show, except more of a blue collar version. And yes, the show is surprisingly accurate most of the time. I am proud to say that we do not have a rather racist mural toward Native Americans though.

Anyway, I come to work this morning and find the most surprising thing. No firework garbage. Nothing. And for the three years I've been working at this pool (oh yeah, I'm a pool operator, I got the fancy job in P&R) there has always been garbage cans overflowing with burnt mortar tubes and other things on the ground. Then remembered that there wasn't much noise last night. Pop here and there, but that's all. And last night was really nice out, considering all the rain we've been having.

So what's the deal? Not that I should really be complaining, since it makes my job easier. Did they actually crack down on the fireworks this year on Long Island? They are illegal, but people have gotten away with stuff in the past.

Even though I got out of extra litter pick-up, I can't help but be a little disappointed. It just seemed that we (around here, at least) didn't go all out this year. I think next year I'll make more of an effort to blow off my fingers.

Taking Advantage of Perverts

I enjoyed watching the To Catch a Predator program. It's fun watching perverts trying to explain themselves to Chris Hansen, then getting taken down by the cops outside. If you can't laugh at pedophile failure, then I don't want to laugh at anything else.

So weird thing happened today. I got home today and my brother wanted to get the new Prototype game. We checked out Gamestop, but they only have copies for people who reserved the game ahead of time. Didn't order enough, check back tomorrow, blah-blah-blah. Now my little sister decided to tag along for the ride, because I guess there's only so may hours one can stare at Facebook. I came up with an idea. I told her to go ask to see if they had the game. Suddenly, they had a couple extra copies.

Son of a bitch.

I don't think the clerk was quite expecting me and my brother to come over and pay for it. He nervously tried to explain the importance of reserving. He quickly just rung the game up after noticing we weren't interested or happy. Now the perfect line there would have been that I reserve the right to put a boot to his ass, but I was actually fighting back laughter, trying to look serious. Like I said, I enjoy when people mess with pervs. And it's not too often that I get to mess with them personally.

In all actuality, it was a screwed up situation. I mean, this creep was ready to sell a 14-year-old girl a mature rated game. They weren't going to sell one of these "extra" copies to the general public. I'm not worried though. We put a bit of a scare in this guy and my sister doesn't play video games. She's also a black belt, with two athletic older brothers and I'm bit crazy where it comes creating ideas of hurting people. Hell, I'm writer, it's what I do. And judging by the clerk's appearance, he doesn't look like he spends much time outside work and home.

As for the Prototype game, I guess it's good. My brother was playing it four hours straight.